THE BENEFITS OF GROWING OLDER OR OF BEING A RETIREE

(AND YOU THOUGHT THERE WEREN'T ANY)

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

No one expects you to run in to a burning building

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

There's nothing left to learn the hard way

Things you buy now won't wear out

You can eat dinner at 4:00

You can have a party and the neighbors won't even realize it

Kidnappers are not very interested in you

You have an age advantage whenever you need it

You can sing along with elevator music

Your Congressional Representative pays attention to you

You are not expected to keep up with technology or understand it

You get travel, entertainment and food discounts

You can dance to the oldest music and no one laughs at you

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either

Your investment in health insurance will now begin to pay off

You no longer have to hold your stomach in when someone walks into the room

You set your own schedule - Not someone else

Naps are now an acceptable endeavor

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

You know your wisdom level exceeds the average young adult experience level